Saturday, December 19, 2009

Why Are You Still Single?

I am a statistic. And there are millions more like me. Forty-five percent of black women in America have never been married, compared with 23 percent of white women, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey in 2006.

While there are some positive traits to the single life- come & go as you please, make your own decisions without having to discuss, take solo vacations or travel with your friends, cook for yourself, the toilet seat is always down, a ton of quiet time (no disagreements, etc.) & more. However, I see it this way: two heads are definitely better than one. I mean, who in life has accomplished their most important milestones/goals and did it alone? As I write this, I think about the women I know that are single and also the ones that are married. Many are in happy marriages and some..well, not so happy marriages. Some are expectant single mothers and some are single mothers.

This afternoon, I had a conversation with a friend of mine that happens to be a single mom, approaching 40 in a few years, and has never been married. "I feel sorry for black women," she said. I proceed to ask her why. "Because half of us are single. Some of us by choice and some of us who are ready to be in a relationship, ready to love, to be married, and live this life raising a family and not being alone." She had a point that is so true & unfortunately, has become an epidemic amongst black women.

Back in the day, the woman was in the home raising the family and taking care of the home front while the man was out working & bringing home the bacon. Balanced, right? Today, the woman has now entered the workforce, juggling being a wife, mother, and her career. These days, it's 50/50 as in both parties are bringing something to the table. The more the merrier, right? Besides, I believe this is a plus for a man who is seeking out his life partner.

Is marriage in the cards for the successful, career driven, holding it down on the home front, independent yet humble, nurturing black woman that would like to meet that special man, and build a relationship with the potential to marry? Can it happen in circumstances where it doesn't seem like it's ever going to? From experience, I'm told to stay in prayer, occupy your time with the things you love to do, nurture your existing friendships; however, there is still a void. I have become to accept the fact that I'm currently a statistic, and unfortunately, it is what it is.

So why is a beautiful woman like you still single you ask? I'm single because I haven't met a man smart enough to swoop me up. I bring great credentials to the table and it's unfortunate that I'm told, ''It's too good to be true. Something has got to be wrong with you," or "when does the mask come off?" Well, nothing is wrong and the mask will never come off because I'm me no matter what. What you see is what you get. I'm a great catch and until I meet the one, that special man, who realizes that without the loop holes what a rare & precious gift he's found, I will remain single. Is it worth the wait? Yes, indeed it is. It took a long while but I'm confident my time will come and so will yours.

No comments: